In Memory

 

BLAKE McCALLUM SUMMERS
16th November 1981 to 18th February 2005

Blake had many names; he started out as “POD”, taking his first steps padding about in little material shoe like things. He then decided he would be “JOHNNY BOBBY” and refused to answer to anything else, this caused moments of confusion and amusement, especially at school, and this lasted for a few years.
When he was bullied at secondary school, he found a great strategy to stop them taking his food; he covered in it in a blanket of pepper and ate it much to the amazement of his tutors. We called him “PEPPER” in tribute to his clever (if un-edible) brave stand against the bullies. We of course had to remind him that he did not have to do this at home, especially as it made us sneeze – so Blake being Blake did it all the more.
Most recently, on occasion he did not shave because he could not remember where he had put his battery powered shaver, so we nicked named him “SHAGGY” due to his uncanny resemblance to Scooby Doo’s mate.

To me he was always “MY BEAUTIFUL BOY”, even when he was not at his best due to his epilepsy or learning difficulties. I would often call him this, to a snort of “Oh mum behave” and a waft of his hand dismissing the compliment. To me he was just a beautiful, loving and giving (often delightfully mischievous) person.

Blake was never jealous of anything his sister Sasha or brother Kyle did; he really did appreciate their talent. He never minded that he was not some one who needed a lot of stuff. He could be happy with simple things rather than grand gestures. He like to draw, read and write; some times for hours or just get pleasure from watching TV or videos.
Volume and activity would sometimes drive him to distraction – sound to an epileptic seems more amplified when the brain is giving the senses the wrong message. However he put us with us all being musical and over the last two years especially listened to a lot of music of his choice. His favourite song he told me was “We are family” sung by Sasha, Kyle and myself.

He remained a child like soul inside a young man’s body, an innocent, sometimes delightful, handsome young man with such a dry sense of humour that he would crack everyone one up with his wicked but endearing honesty and hours of jokes.
Sometimes he was unexpectedly wise and thoughtful when making observations that showed he had true insight into people’s problems.
In recent hard times – he very often comforted me and if the tears flowed or heartache showed on occasion he would quietly sit next to me and give me a hug.
He had learnt to be emotionally available when he was really needed all by his own intuition, he never let me down, and he became my good friend as well as my “special son”.

To a stranger he could seem distant, he did not usually make an immediate emotional connection, he needed time to recognize the presence and character of a new person. Once he did you became “real” to him. He did not need to say, “I love you” or hear it said. He did not need to be constantly praised; he showed his love in so many ways to those he knew and trusted, felt accepted and safe with, through his writings, gestures and the things he made.
To me he would say “Mum you are awful!” and that was his way of saying he loved me. We both knew what he meant, it was our private joke and I adored hearing it.
Over the past two years Blake had matured both as a person and in a practical way. He had learnt how to lead a more independent life; he had become more confident and was happy to have both his new life and his old. He was in the process of moving into a new home and a new life just before he died

At our home he was wonderful company, he would put the kettle on to make tea, he often washed the pots and tidied the kitchen or front room and would load and unload the dishwasher without being asked. He would feed the animals and even take our dog Tess with him went he went for chips or my paper. Rarely did he complain if he was asked to run an errand. Tessie would sleep by his side and come and fetch someone just before a fit would begin, she was his friend and his safety alarm.

When I had emergency life-saving surgery last year he managed to help look after ME on his own. He made me co-co pops for supper and fetched fish and chips, plus he made many a cup of tea. He was wonderfully kind to me at a time when it was difficult for me. He kept me going. He never stopped amazing me. I do not think I could have got through that time without him. Over the years I do not believe I ever heard him whinge when he hurt himself during his seizures. Some time s the injuries and bruises were horrendous, but he would just say they were a bit sore and there was nothing to worry about.

Worry we did though, for 20 years I have worried and prayed for his survival and made sure it was possible as much as I could do. It has been frightening on so many occasions but a privilege. He rarely complained about anything at all, though he some times wished for a “Magic Spell” that would cure his epilepsy. We were always there for Blake in the night when he was at risk. Kyle and Sasha would often get up in the night to help me make him safe.
He never knew when he’d had a seizure and it comforts me to believe that on the morning of Friday the 18th February 2005 he would not have known he was dying.

The last night before he died and retired to bed, he had made three cups of tea. We talked and laughed about so many ridiculous things. He asked what would I do when he moved out, who would make the tea? I told him he would have to pop round every night to make one for me, as no one made tea like him.
He gave me a final hug before going to bed and I dared him to say “I Love you Mum” and to my surprise he did and he put his fingers apart a whole inch and teased me that he loved me “that much”. He went on to tell me he loved all of us but reminded me I was still “awful” and then he went to bed – never to wake up again.
When I think of Blake, my beloved son, I feel humbled indeed. His generosity of spirit made him shine. Everyone loved him for the little mischievous imp and free spirit he was. Blake was simply “Blake, one of a kind. He had no airs or graces; you took him as you found him. In my eyes he was simply “special” and very treasured
It almost seems like we all in some strange way got a chance to say goodbye to Blake. To have our last memories of Blake exceptionally warm and wonderful ones, only we did not know it at the time.

I will miss his company and his loving, caring, unselfish and forgiving spirit all the days of my life to come. His example of how to be an honest, decent human being will continue to be my guide and inspiration. I feel honoured and proud to have had Blake as my son for 23years. He achieved what we were told was impossible. He became his own person, with dignity and true kindness, fun and interesting. He taught me about tolerance, endurance and true strength of character. He loved us; his family and we loved him dearly.
He is now free and safe forever, “Flying on Angel’s Wings” the “Magic Spell” of death having taken away his epilepsy.
Goodnight and God Bless Blake my “Beautiful Boy”. Until we meet again.

Adapted from the reading for Blake’s Funeral


THE CORD


WE ARE CONNECTED......MY CHILDREN AND I,
BY AN INVISIBLE CORD, THAT IS UNSEEN BY THE EYE.
IT IS NOT THE CORD, THAT CONNECTS US 'TIL BIRTH,
IT CANNOT BE SEEN BY A PERSON ON EARTH...

THIS CORD HAS DONE IT'S WORK WELL, RIGHT FROM THE START,
IT HAS BOUND US TOGETHER, IT'S ATTACHED TO MY HEART,
IT'S ALWAYS THERE FOR ME TO FEEL AND TO SEE,
AN INVISIBLE CORD FROM EACH MUCH LOVED CHILD TO ME

THIS CORD IS SO STRONG...IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE,
BUT IT CAN'T BE REMOVED, AND IT CAN'T BE DESTROYED,
IT IS STRONGER THAN ANY CORD "MAN" COULD CREATE,
WITHSTANDING ANY TEST ASKED OF IT...BEARING ANY WEIGHT.

AND THO' YOU BLAKE ARE NO LONGER WITH ME,
THE CORD IT REMAINS FOR YOU ARE LOVED ETERNALLY,
IT IS PULLING AT MY HEART SON, AND I AM BRUISED..I AM SORE,
THIS CORD IS NOW MY LIFELINE..EVEN STRONGER THAN BEFORE.

IT IS THE CORD THAT CONNECTS A MOTHER TO HER CHILD
AND WE ARE CONNECTED IN THIS WAY,
MY LOVE FOR YOU BLAKE TRANSCENDS ANY TRIAL..
NOT EVEN DEATH CAN TAKE IT AWAY....

GREENISH BROWN FEMALE SHEEP BLAKE....MUM xXxXxX

 

 

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